Four Years Later.

I never thought I'd write again in here but I am.

Today, after watching A Man From Earth, I feel calm like I've never been in my entire life. This is not to say that the film had caused it, but it reaffirmed my sense of Gnosis.

I'm living on my own currently. I plan to have a permanent home and live a quiet, survivable life.

A life of quiet and contemplation. A life of writing.

Most of everyday life is just noise. We do lose some meaning and feeling in the nuances and we live longer than our dreams. Our dreams, by-products of our being, are not who we are. We put too much attention to everyday noise.

Just days ago, I came across the concept of thought as a sense. I've long known that our identities are just mechanisms to survive consciousness but considering thought as a sense gives it more lucidity.

Who are we, if we are just sensing beings? I try my best to admit, I have put a great deal of attention on refining my sense of thought. It may have given me enough to feed myself from day to day.

Someday, people won't need to work in order to survive. People will just work because it is what they really wanted to do. I now find exchanging labor for the zest of your life and existence to be a rudimentary way of society to perpetuate the human race. I do accept that this is the reality I live in, but I've come to accept that more than us as a human, we are beings inside this body. We are consciousness.

I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother asked me while she was leading me into a dark place while holding a candle, "are you afraid of ghosts?" she chuckles candidly. She had an NDE when she was younger, and in that *dream* she was told that it is not her time and she has to go back. Now she is part of the past as well. She might've not been afraid of death. I appreciate her existence.

Now that I am more aware than I was back then, there is a lesser deal of value placed within me. The name, the face, the voice, are just all labels. Will I live my life in the fondness of the quiet and solitude?  Maybe I will. Maybe I will strategize for FIRE.

Somewhere along the line, I will momentarily forget this wisdom for the noise of everyday life, when it is too heavy to manage. In these instances, I should always retract myself inwards towards meditation.

This wisdom isn't the key to winning in life, but it helps surpass the need to win.

I will be moved by the stories that are personal to me while living, but behind it, I will remember that our existence goes beyond it.

'Til next time,

Jy.