A monologue.

And a special request.
1: *sobbing but persistently controlled*
2: Live for me, will ya?
1: Ok. I will.
2: Remember that I love you even on your shittiest behavior (intended to throw off people or not).
1: *hugs 2 tightly*
2: You are more than your mistakes, 1. *still hugging*
1: Sometimes, I could only barely believe it. This life.
2: Well, I guess it is so,1. You are what your prevailing thoughts push you into behaving.
1: I'm sorry 2. I wouldn't have bothered anyone this much. If you haven't seen through me I would have gone off quietly.
2: *looks 1 in the eyes* You are loved. No matter how much I tell you this not just for the reason of keeping you active in thought, you are loved 1.
1: I always had these fears. The truths of momentary existence. It will pass. The way you hold my hands, keep me in your arms and in your thoughts would always be passing even if without death. You might even get sick of me one day, get it on with another love for it "fits" you more than you are with me and keep in memory that this exact moment would be of no more value than any other parts of your life.
2: We'll never know. But I'll love you as much as I can. This relationship doesn't wait on the time the other could keep up with life alone for it to end. There's just too many things to explore with one single person especially if you're open to each others vulnerabilities.
1: Right, and you're diverting my attention,2. Nice try!
2: Meh.
1: *looks 2 in the eyes* *holds 2's face with the hands gently*
[a reverbating consciousness of each other's existence being at the same time one and different ensues]
2: That one was intense.
1: Strangely, I couldn't speak my mind out in real life and you, on the other hand, could do it all the time.
2: It's a complement.
1: I couldn't say I love you for the joy of expression but I have this overwhelming and constant urge to care for you. If I would, i wouldn't be as satisfied as doing it in another way..
2: I--
1: You must allow me to tell you how I ardently admire and love you.
2: P&P
1: If i couldn't say it, might as well sing or quote it.
2: *hums Forevermore by Side A*
1: *leans on 2's shoulder*

[a comfortable silence ensues]




Well, this has distracted me from the darkness. Thanks imagination and monologging, you've helped me a lot. *winks winks*
YOU. HAVE. HELPED. ME. A. LOT.

Random page viewers, may you have a lovely February! :)

Sincerely,
Aytako.