Haya-tus! (and some lemass bits of advice)

"This is another life", she says.

According to my status, I am half-conscious of my actions right now.

I could've been saying my hello to a new wordpress-y blog. I could've been saying my farewell to york412.

But here I am back and running this thang! :)


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It has been a month of keeping the online world (except for facebook) momentarily dead to my soul and I might say that it didn't change much of my perception on pretty much about anything (slaps self).





Butttt yes, york412, I am adjusting to the weight I had let loose for a while.

It's really kind of awkward to start this blog again. It's like reenacting my moment with long "departed" (ha-ha!) friends and contacts when I've randomly decided to chat with them on facebook.


There is this formula, I believe.

Here are my imaginary guidelines:

HOW TO RECONNECT WITH LONGTAYMNOCONTACT FAR FLUNG FRIENDS & CONTACTS WHICH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START WITH BLAH AND THE ONLY COMMUNICATION YOU HAVE IS ONLINE (say living in another country):

1. One must like a status of the said friend first.
2. The status must be the one with the most likes.
3. In the pm, say "kumusta"?
4. That's it. Make sure to repeat "kumustahan" every month.

HAHA. I'm kidding.


Since I'm in the mood to type nonsense, let me give you the guidelines in order for you not to be in the friendzoned (as this term is in hightime this season):


HOW NOT TO BE FRIENDZONED(this is for some of the guys and girls who are friendzoned):

*amaneutral*

1. Increase your self-esteem and be awesome so that you would be the one who would friendzone other people. THIS IS LIFE. It is either you're the friendzoner or the friendzonee. TAKE IT.
2. Want not a relationship. Want not love. It will come to ya.
3. If you don't get a response after professing your love,throw your heart at her/his face and run away as far as you can and hide in a bunker so that you'll be safe from the blast of your own precious heart. Jack be nimble, jack be quick.
4. Read more behavioral psychology books not romantic films or paperbacks.
5. Set your standards high. Expect nothing. If nothing doesn't arrive, report to the police for a missing nothing.


HOW TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP

1. Fall in love.
2. Fall harder in love.
3. Fall hardest so that you'll get into the lowest ring of hell and fight Satan but then you'd end up freeing him/her/it out of it and that makes you the successor of the throne and be the next Satan and you shall wait for the next victim who attempts to "fall" in love because they think it's really nice. Smile nicely. Keep cliches up and going about the hemisphere of the earth. Always wear red.


HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP

1. Eat ice cream slowly. Enjoy the cool breath it gives you and imagine it's already winter time in this tropical country. Imagine it's how cold and impossible the relationship was to start with.
2. RUN YOUR HEART OUT ON THAT ROUGH GOVERNMENT LOOTED PAVEMENT AND CHASE AFTER IT. At least be kind to people in needing of heart donors. WHAT IF THEY GOT YOUR HEART?! Then they'd end up crying in bed all the time and dreaming of the same person over and over again and puke about it in their writings when they get up in the morning. Nobody wants an extension of your miserable love life. HA-HA.
3. Dedicate your life to a cause. Be married to the cause so that the people who are living healthy and normal lives just supporting the cause would be jealous and resentful because when you die, the cause would put up a statue for you, write a book about your relationship and even teach people to learn from you because you are a martyr and is finitely in love with an infinitely existing idea. Man, that is unconditional love! Hush..they're just jealous. Those people can't do it to their loved ones. "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" ~MC HAMMER
4. *Don't try this in reality* Run over the said cause of the break up with a MONSTER TRUCK IN FULL THROTTLE. If it is an abstract cause, run over the said creator of the abstract cause.
5. Now this, this is what most people do. Get a new haircut, cut off contact and relative contacts with said contact, take new hobbies and fake it until you make it. Suck it up for friends who said you'll get over it and prove to them it's working and you're not a poor loser who cries it over at random moments and flashbacks because everyone does act this way but pretends it's not so. Let it heal. Let forgiveness rain in. Let the door of your heart be open to anything..zombies, parasitic worms and even epidemics (but in reality when you open that door you open it up to..rebounds, friendzones and even more..addiction to vices.)


HOW TO GET BACK WITH EX

1. Don't get back says teenage quotes. Miss him/her instead, have those i need you but can't moments and regret later, it's more fitting and dramatic. That angst is priceless.
2. How could you get your dorsal portion with the letters EX? Impossibruuhhh.
3. Now this, this happens all the time in real life and 100% never worked out in any way. Be clingy. Do not express love when there izz un urge. eww. You certainly couldn't get the back with ex. Get some other people's back or better..get their body. You're a spirit people are terrified of being exorcised upon now. BUT THIS IS MORE AWESOME, YOU COULD NOW WALK ON WALLS AND CEILINGS.


HOW TO PROCRASTINATE AND GET INSOMIA

1. Tell yourself your wasted sleep is paying off. Collect food reward afterwards. Keep up the positive reinforcement for being your own lab rat. Wonder if Skinner ever tried it upon himself.
2. Be a hedonistic megalomaniac. Have a plan to rule the world of your fantastic imagination within the wee hours of the morning like an evil genius. Laugh at your own self-destruction.
3. Keep up this routine for consecutive nights. The mind would easily catch on. Congratulate yourself with the nocturnal body clock you have by hooting or howling by the window.
4. Call yourself now with another name that sounds diabolical. Replace the first letter of your name with the letter Z or V. If it starts with those letters interchange Z with V (vice versa)  and add ZZZZ to the end of it.
5.  Miraculously pass every subject to maintain your long term expectations with insomnia. Repeat positive reinforcement.


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So much with starting again bloggaroo. 'Til next time frame! :-)

[labo]

[aytako]