A day within a thought.

This is just one day out of the many days I haven't written much on except on shorter words of "stress-acad load" or "slept it all so i skipped my journal".

That day I decided and felt that I've forgotten everything. I've found out that without my memory of the past I would be off and clear with a lot of things to do than other days when I'm occupied with a lot of thoughts. I've managed to read more than a quarter of the ebook I'm reading and stare at the ceiling and play with inanimate objects while thinking of overlapping thoughts kind of like this overlapping phrases I am typing as of now.

My friends called me out for a session and I didn't hesitate to go since they're the nicest guys I've met and that there was food. They're not like the guys who had to lie or hide just to let me know i'm not "one" with them. Things were all going fine when one of them teased the guy on the girl she's talking to on the phone and things got somehow quiet after that until sumbae arrived and everything went back to normal. I've been listening and empathizing with their love stories for some time now and there came a moment when they had to ask mine. They all went silent and I stuttered trying to grasp the words while the letters were all falling deeper within my senses until I just paused and slightly broke down in tears. It's a good thing sumbae mentioned that I must be a wallflower for being so. I was silent the whole time unlike other times when I would be entertaining with some of the more interesting stories I have. We were all swearing to ourselves that we won't be like the "rich kids" who would never work as much as they had to get the overrated "success" in life. At least, that's what some of them think. Everybody has a price to pay.

I went home and contemplated how such feelings easily work up and go unscripted at an instant. I remember every detail of every scene that I get to see you. It's not that I didn't notice it, it's for the reason that I wasn't able to speak it out. There are times when thinking of it would place myself in your shoes and it would hurt as much as it didn't when it happened to me back then. The day ended up with me remembering everything that should've hurt and I guess, on the bright side it was easier that way to get to sleep.